If John McCain had been elected president (satire)

This is what would have happened

1/20/09-John and Sarah are sworn in as president and vice president, respectively

1/21/09-Sarah starts plotting John's death.

3/12/09-Sarah invites John to the Naval Observatory for a moose steak dinner. While there he mysteriously has a heart attack and dies, thus breaking the record for the shortest presidency set by William Henry Harrison back in 1841. Sarah is immediately sworn in as president by Justice John Roberts.

3/13/09-Sarah's first official act is to appoint Todd as her Chief of Staff, making history as being the first Presidential Spouse to hold a position in a presidential administration. People cry nepotism. She also appoints Wayne Anthony Ross as Attorney General, Chuck Norris as Secretary of Defense, Chuck Heath Sr. as Secretary of Education, (more nepotism), Kristen Cole as Secretary of the Treasury, David Koch as Secretary of the Interior, Scott Walker as Secretary of Labor, William Koch as Secretary of Energy, and Meg Stapleton and RAM as Co-Press Secretaries. She bypasses on naming Nancy Pelosi as Vice President as dictated by the Constiution, choosing to leave that vacant.

3/14/09-Sarah blackmails Harry Reid to call on the Senate to look into Barack Obama's associations with Jeremiah Wright, William Ayers, Tony Rezko, and Rod Blagoevich. When the Senate comes up empty, she then has WAR start an investigation. WAR is unable to come up with anything so Sarah comes up with a fake birth certificate and has him deported.

4/19/09 Sarah uses her authority as Commander in Chief to pull Track out of Iraq.

5/17/09 Sarah gives the commencement speech at Notre Dame. She announces she will sign an executive order banning all abortions in any circumstances.

5/31/09 Willow is expelled from Sidwell Friends School. Sarah and Todd send her to Alaska to live with Chuck and Sally.

6/1/09 Sarah announces she is reinstating the draft. Minimum draft age is 15 maximum 60. First person drafted is Mike Wooten. 2nd person David Kernell. 3rd Levi Johnston but he flunks the physical.

7/14/09 After David Letterman makes his joke about Bristol/Willow. Sarah has the FCC remove him from the air.

11/09 Sarah has moose served at her first state dinner with India. She also has Big and Rich, Hank Williams Jr and Ted Nugent provide the musical entertainment. And those party crashers? She has them arrested after the fact.

2/10 After Family Guy makes fun of Sarah and Trig, Sarah has the FCC remove Family Guy from the airwaves.

4/10 Congress passes the health care reform, Sarah vetoes it

6/27/10-Willow comes to visit and brings ten of her closest friends with her. They ransack the Lincoln bedroom, strewing Vodka bottles, used condoms, and cigarettes all over. They also do damage in the Red Room, the State Dining Room, and the White House pool. Several White House domestic staff quit in protest.

7/10-Bristol and Levi announce their re-engagement and that they plan to marry at the White House. Sarah has Levi drafted into the Army and is sent to Iraq.

12/10 Congress repeals DADT, Sarah vetoes it.

1/8/11-Jared Loughner goes on his killing spree in Tucson and also wounds Rep. Gabby Giffords. Sarah gives him a presidential pardon.

1/18/11-Sarah cancels the state dinner with China cuz she's uncomfortable around Asians.

3/11-Jeremy Morlock is arrested for killing civilian Afghanis. Sarah gives him a presidential pardon. She also sends ground troops to Libya and orders airstrikes.

5/1/11-Osama Bin Laden is killed. Sarah takes all the credit.

4/1/11 Sarah goes to Iraq to visit the troops. While boarding Air Force One for the return trip she "forgets" Trig.

5/17/11-Sarah announces that Track and Britta got married at the White House

9/7/11 Piper's "tutor" quits saying she cannot take anymore of her diva attitude. Sarah enrolls her at Sidwell Friends but Piper ends up being expelled.

10/12/11-Sarah cancels the state dinner with South Korea for the same reason as why she canceled the state dinner with China.

10/20/11-Gaddafi is killed and Sarah takes all the credit.

1/20/12-Impeachment proceedings against Sarah finally begin.