Bristol is turning 22 today and she is drowning her sorrows in wine coolers

Tuesday night she and Mark Ballas were eliminated from DTWS so I'm sure a certain fridge in Wasilla ended up dented, and Bristol retreated to a tent full of wine coolers.

For someone who is 22 she has the mental and emotional capacity of a 14 year old.

She says her mom is way hotter than Julianne Moore .

Then she plays the sympathy card and claims she is getting death threats.

And after she was eliminated she blows off the media.  Sore loser!

Now that she is no longer relevant I have a list of possible careers for her:

Hooker
Porn Star
Model on The Price is Right
Vanna White's job on Wheel of Fortune
Voiceover
Contestant on The Bachelorette or Bachelor (stock up on rubbers Bachelors)

HAPPY FUCKIN' BIRTHDAY BRISTOL YOU HOE!